Meus Queridos,
This has been a fun week. By fun I mean the type of fun that I enjoy in starting an area with absolutely nothing and just figuring out how to find and teach people. It ended up being really productive and the lord blessed us a lot. I am in a super wealthy area, it is amazing. I rang a doorbell for the first or second time in my mission. Acutally like 20. But it is super cool. Our area in a period of about a ten minute walk turns from normal rural mozambique to like some of the nicest houses I have seen in my entire life. It was super cool. I am grateful because a lot of the families we found were legally married, and they all seem very elect. We had an amazing experience. The whole time I have been on my mission I have been really struggling because I feel like I wasnt feeling the spirit. I went and evaluated everything, from unworthyness, to lack of testimony, to making myself the exception to the rule that the fruits of the spirit come to everyone, and all that because I didn't feel overwhelmed in the spirit. In this battle I went through and evaluated everything, and fixed everything that seemed broken, but for some reason the spirit still wasnt overwhelming me like I had felt before in my life. I have never prayed harder, and in some of the times I honestly felt that my prayers went unheard, that I was the exception to the rule, that I had screwed up to bad, or that I was based on a lie. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. But, when I fixed what was wrong in my testimony, in my work, when I rebuilt what I knew I expected to feel a flood of the spirit, and it wasnt there. I started feeling better though a few months ago and finally decided that if it was real, God would tell me eventually, and I would know. I finally in a Zone Conference 2 weeks ago was translating when I had the thought fill my mind, "Just because you are not overwhelmed by the spirit doesn't mean it isn't there." So for these last few weeks I have made a serious resolve to always look inward when I teach to see if I could feel the spirit. As I did so I started to realize that it is there. It is always there. When we are in an environment where the spirit can reside, those of us who have been baptized and confirmed by proper authority of God, which exists in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Our lives literally change. We receive a constant comforter, and friend, that even when we stop believing in him because he isnt making himself so obvious to us that we cant ignore him, he is there, he is subtle, but he is always there. I realized this as I was teaching a Restoration lesson, one I know like the Back of my hand, when our investigator prayed, in the middle of the lesson, when he asked God if it was true, and after the silence I looked into his eyes, and I didnt even have to ask, because I knew that he had recieved his answer. I am so grateful for the time I have in this short mission of mine to learn and love, and live. It is something that has changed my life, and I can not describe how grateful I am for it. I love every single one of you and wish that those of you who dont share this happiness that comes from this gospel might open your hearts to the message, I promise it will change your life. It is also my prayer that those of us who know this message, who have this good news, might not keep it in, there are billions of people in this world who do not know that God is our loving heavenly father, that Jesus is the Christ, the redeemer of mankind, and savior of the world. That through him and by him, we can become eternal beings living and loving forever with those who we truly love. I know that these thing are true, and as we open our mouths, even to someone who doesnt appear to be the "mormon type" they will be touched because what we teach is not a new doctrine, it wont be the first time they hear it. But because of the Veil a loving heavenly father has placed in our minds, we our the only way they have to remember it. I love every one of you, and pray for you every day. I ask for your prayers. The work is hard, and I need them so badly. Know that you are always in mine, and that I pray for your well-being.
Ate La no Ceu,
Elder Anthony James Holt
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